First, intimate partners have extensive personal, often confidential, knowledge about each other. Favourite foods, colour preferences,...
First, intimate partners have extensive personal, often confidential, knowledge about each other. Favourite foods, colour preferences, family issues and all the details of the other's life style are things we might be quite familiar with. Knowing someone deeply is one of the important signs of intimacy.
What does intimacy look like? What are its main components? Here is a checklist to explore that might be helpful:
1. Knowledge
First, intimate partners have extensive personal, often confidential, knowledge about each other. Favourite foods, colour preferences, family issues and all the details of the other's lifestyle are things we might be quite familiar with. Knowing someone deeply is one of the important signs of intimacy.
2. Interdependence
Depending on someone else is what scare many people from entering into a serious relationship. But it is also indicative for the degree of closeness in a couple. Intimate partners take each other's plans into consideration, they compromise schedules and preferences in order to reach a consensus. Having your life intertwined with that of someone else means affecting and influencing what the other person does and how he or she feels.
3. Caring
It seems obvious that to be intimate with someone you have to care for him or her. But sometimes it is that particular element which fades away in long-term relationships and compromises the quality of intimacy in a couple. We never actually overcome the need to be cared for. It is primal and it is the closest affect of love.
4. Trust
Trust is not about abstaining from adultery. In intimate couples, trust is about being sure that the other would not ever hurt you intentionally. You can risk being vulnerable with your and retain the feeling of basic safety.
5. Responsiveness
As the expect on intimate relationships, Rowland Miller, from Sam Houston State University, writes;
"Intimacy increases when people believe that their partners understand, respect, and appreciate them, being attentively and effectively responsive to their needs and concerned for their welfare. Responsive is powerfully rewarding, and the perception that our partners recognise, understand and support our needs and wishes is a core ingredient of our very best relationships"
Responsiveness is an important ingredient of our attachment style and is a major factor for a child's emotional growth.
6. Mutuality
As close ties develop in the course of love, people start to sense their personality is overlapping with that of their partner. The focus shift from "I" to "us" begins to take place and it is a sign of the connection growing stronger. This inclusion of other in yourself is one of the bravest gestures of intimacy. It means allowing to be changed by someone else and for the sake of someone else.
7. Commitment
In order for an intimate relationship to last, it takes the time and efforts of both partners to make it work in the long run. The romantic ideas of love which happens on its own once you have found Mr/Mrs. Right is outdated and unsupported by both science and experience. It is investing your resources daily and not taking the other person for granted that will help your couple thrive.
You don't have to obtain everything on the checklist for intimacy happiness to be present. Love comes in different shapes and colours, of course, but it is helpful to keep in mind what it takes to sustain a long-term relationship
Source: www. citinewsroom.com
