A single mother is that female who bears a child and raising that child alone. Single mothers are not married and they hold all the fa...
A single mother is
that female who bears a child and raising that child alone. Single mothers are
not married and they hold all the family responsibilities.
I hope this finds you well.
Allow me to make a special appeal this week: If you can, marry a single mother.
We are in a parenthood crisis
occasioned by men who fail to own up after putting a God-fearing woman in the
family way and it takes real men to correct the mess.
At some point in a nation’s
history, men are called upon to steer the country’s destiny towards prosperity
and equality of all
Such an epochal moment is today.
We are the special generation called upon to correct the sins of our fathers.
As you all know, men born in the
1950s, 1960s and 1970s were sell-outs and the onus is on us to rectify one of
their biggest failures - safeguarding the sanctity of the institution of
marriage and family. We will remember them as men who screwed the economy
and their families as well.
Now, I write this letter to all
real men to stand up and be counted. You probably have a sister or two, female
cousin or several of them who are single mothers.
Barring those who decidedly
prefer single motherhood, I know most of them want to get married. But the
society has relegated them to second-class citizens.
In marriage, we are recommending
widowers, senior bachelors and other men, whom we deem less desirable.
Why? Because most African
societies, while greatly treasured nephews and a nieces, even those born out of
wedlock, we rarely respected such women bearing children out of wedlock.
A woman with an ‘illegitimate’
child was scorned and looked at questionably.
But times have changed.
Modernity, shifting value systems and women empowerment, have somehow humanised
single-motherhood, but few men have updated their attitude.
Most men look at single mothers
as loose, or else, they think, these women would not have been impregnated in
the first place.
Nothing can be further from the
truth. I know many childless women who have aborted and slept around with
reckless abandon. I also know of many single mothers who behave exceptionally
well.
Today, I urge men of my
generation to change their attitude towards single mothers.
They are normal people, capable
of loving and becoming responsible partners. A child need not be a bother. The
idea that you cannot raise another man’s child is outdated.
Granted, there are a few
political problems of disciplining such a child, especially a bratty son. But
this is nothing two rational adults cannot handle.
Single mothers are only
protective of such children because the society has conditioned them to look at
the children as a mistake. This should not be the case as everyone born to in
this wide, wild world should be given a chance to live.
Your role as a father to a child
who is not yours biologically is just to be fair and finding it in your heart
to love him or her.
Other than that, create a good
environment for the child to grow and manage the kid’s temperament, and you
would have done the job right; otherwise, you will give the world another
man-hating feminist lesbian or some women-hating misogynist.
We live in a world where serial
monogamy might be a default marriage set up in days to come. Our generation
finds it taxing sticking with the wrong person for reasons such as children or
societal expectations.
Chances are your child will be
raised by another man and you will end up raising another man’s child.
Hence, you need to keep your
minds open.
If you meet a good woman who
happens to have a child, may the child not be the hindrance. The woman without
a child you so much want might end up ruining your life more than the single
mother.
Single mothers are the
best people to marry because they have seen it all. They have cried and laughed
enough and are ready to settle with a ready man and make families.
Since she is being used with catering for herself and her kid,
it is easy for her to understand any situation especially financial
constraints. If a chance allows, do not drop it just marry her.
Yeah she knows the pain of being abandoned so she can’t wish to
see her husband being abandoned. She must be loving, caring and so supportive.
She is mature, experienced she must hate time wasters and she
wont waste time in non developmental ventures. Production will increase, hence
financial uplift in the family. Time is money, here you have already earned it
brother.
